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Wonder Woman Wednesday: (Same Sex) Marry Me, Wonder Woman!

“Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever
And that’s a mighty long time.
But I’m here to tell you
There’s something else
The after life.

A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night…”

-Prince, “Let’s Go Crazy”

Forgive me. I figured a little old-school Prince would be appropriate for the matter at hand concerning this week’s Wonder Woman Wednesday.

So, when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills . . . you know, the one who tells you everything’s gonna be all right – forgive me I lapsed into The Artist Formerly Known As again! (Hey, music inspires me to write – what can I tell you.)

She is an Amazon. She can fly. She’s super strong, agile, wise as Athena, and drop-dead gorgeous. She can make a hawk a dove, fight a war with love. She can turn the world on with her smile. She’s an ambassador, a superhero, and a princess to an island of peace-seeking warrior women.
Is there nothing Wonder Woman can’t do? Well, until June 26, 2015, there was one little thing Wonder Woman could not do: officiate same-sex marriages!

I just wrote about Sensation Comics last week, the DC digital-first comic series named after the title in which Wonder Woman debuted 75 years ago. Speaking of which, she looks great for her age. Just when I thought Sensation couldn’t get better, out of nowhere, here comes Sensation Comics #48 and a new reason to write about our beloved Amazon yet again.

I give the powers that be credit. There was no advanced media circus surrounding the impending release of Wonder Woman officiating a same-sex marriage. Naturally, there was much hullabaloo when said story came out, but that’s to be expected.

DC has been under the gun lately for many un-PC actions in recent years, including transphobic tropes in Batgirl, disturbing cover homages in Batgirl, and that porntastic cancelled Spider-Woman variant cover by Milo Manara. Oh, wait – that was Marvel Comics. Oh well, they may as well be the same company with their continued sales and media domination.

So, let’s give DC a little credit for doing something right. I’m sure a lot of conservative a-holes would poo poo the prospect of Wonder Woman supporting gay marriage, let alone performing one. But, as Wonder Woman herself classically put it when Superman was disappointingly surprised she supported gay marriage, “My country is all women. To us, it’s not “gay marriage,” it’s just marriage.” Oh, snap!
The issue is beautifully illustrated and the debut writing effort of Jason Badower. His art left us breathless in his contribution to Wonder Woman ’77 and has graced the cover of Arrow and Flash. I’m very much looking forward to seeing future efforts from Jason.

I’m not going to make a big deal about Wonder Woman officiating a lesbian wedding, because, let’s face it, it’s not a big deal. Just another credit to the long list of good deeds Wonder Woman does on a daily basis. And, if I had a dime for every lesbian commitment ceremony I’ve been to even before it was legal . . . I’d have a role of dimes!

As a gay man myself, it’s quite inspiring. I never thought I would see the advent of gay marriage in my lifetime, let alone Wonder Woman performing one. While I’m over the moon about The Supreme Court’s obviously righteous decision, I figured being gay let me off the hook of marriage expectation.  Don’t get me wrong, everyone has the right to be miserable, but I don’t have the best view of marriage for straights, gays, and/or living room furniture. Forgive my pessimism, but both my parents were married and divorced twice, and I am a Capricorn. One small step for equal rights and one giant step for opportunistic divorce lawyers.
That said, if I ever were to get married, here are the top 5 people I would want to officiate my wedding:

5. Oprah. The closest thing to a living Moses, she’s a natural choice.

4. Cher. Although a super gay cliche, it would ensure those flaky gay guys would show up for the ceremony for something other than an open bar reception.

3. Lady Gaga. Sorry that you are so far on the list, Mother Monster.  At least you are only one step behind Madonna.

2. Madonna. An obvious choice, and I’m pretty sure she has her own bible.

1. Wonder Woman. No explanation necessary.

Sensation continues to be superior to the ongoing Wonder Woman series, although I see the obvious connection now. Her new costume with the preacher collar is an obvious nod to her new clerical duties. Perhaps next she’ll cure a ham or walk under water.

Well, that wraps up another edition of Wonder Woman Wednesday. See you next week. Until then, may Gaea be with you!

Michael Fitzgerald Troy, Fanbase Press Contributor



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