By Michael Fitzgerald Troy
I feel like sinnin’. Must be the Tanqueray. Damn, I picked the wrong life to quit drinkin’. Madonna’s new record MDNA drops this week, and I’m spinning, baby, out of control. Madonna came up in the clubs with music that double dog dared you not to dance to it, and MDNA is a face slapping reminder of that.
You know how to whistle, baby. Just put your lips together…and blow. And now, I offer you a blow-by-blow of the tracks off of Madonna’s killer new dance album, MDNA. (You gotta love that title!)
“Girl Gone Wild” is a thrashing dance song and controversial new video with a little boy-on-boy action. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
If you’re gonna act like a b*tch, you’re gonna die like a b*tch, you’re gonna die like a b*tch! Or, so says the angry lyrics to “Gang Bang.” We in for a ride, girlfriends.
I need to dance. It puts me in a trance and fits me like a glove. I’m addicted to “I’m Addicted.”
“Turn up the Radio?” No problem. A love anthem to the uplifting power of music. Music raises your spiritual vibration and takes you where you want to go. And, this song is a place I want to visit often. Don’t ask me where I wanna go. You gotta turn up the radio.
“Some Girls” celebrates the harder side of Sears with an ode to not the girl next door. Some girls have a filthy mouth. Hey, naughty girls need love, too!
“Superstar” is one of my favorite cuts with a super sweet and catchy melody reminiscent of an ’80s synth pollination of “Cherish” and “Lucky Star.”
“I Don’t Give A” is catchy and deep, when Madonna sings about tweeting in an elevator. Throw in Nicki Minaj and it’s a party, y’all. Timeless.
“I’m a Sinner” wears gorgeous 69’s false eyelashes. I like it that way. Where are my platform, patent, white go-go boots?
“Love Spent” opens with the banjo and I feel fine.
“Masterpiece” speaks for itself.
“Beautiful Killer” is a beautiful surprise with violin rubs that would put “Papa Don’t Preach” to shame.
“I F*cked Up” is uncharacteristically vulnerable of her highness and beautiful, despite its gasp-inducing 4-letter title.
“Bday Song” and “Best Friend” round out a more than solid effort by Madonna and her posse, including transcendental genius producer William Orbit.
A lifelong Madonna fan and self appointed co-president of the West Hollywood Chapter of the Madonna fan club (Hi, Matthew!), I am happy to report I am pleased as Hawaiian Punch. I was known as “that Madonna freak” in school. Gee, that would make a smokin’ tattoo.
I truth or dare you not to love it. You “Madonna Freaks” can get MDNA here www.itunes.com.
Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!