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This Means War

This Means War MTBy Michael Fitzgerald Troy



This Means War? Apparently, Abundance of Beautiful, Blue-Eyed Blondes wasn’t in the title pool.

It’s always good to see my favorite actress, Reese Witherspoon, on the big screen. Despite her Type A personality, she always picks atypical roles, and This Means War is no exception. Even if it’s not Legally Blonde: Part 5, I still liked it. One of the highlights of my life was when one of my friends said he was watching a Reese Witherspoon movie, and he thought to himself, “OMG! That’s Mike Troy!” I totally could play her gay brother, btw!

Though sometimes not a fan of randomly mixed genre (Espionage/Romantic comedy in this case), I think it worked well in this case. Director McG can do it, if no one can.

Reese Witherspoon inadvertently begins dating Tom Hardy and Chris Pine at the same time, who just so happen to be be C.I.A. agents and best friends unbeknownst to her. I’m glad I’m not the only one who asks coffee dates whether they are serial killers or not.

Chris Pine? Tom Hardy? Oh, what a revolting development! Okay, let’s do the math. Oh, who am I kidding; I can only count to 20, if I’m not wearing any shoes or socks. (21 if I’m wearing something crotchless.)

On the one hand, you have dirty hot Tom Hardy, who is sexy in that “do me to within an inch of my life” kind of way. And then, you have flawless Ken Doll Chris Pine, who is hot in that “pretty perfection / I’m sorry I just can’t imagine your genitalia” kind of way.

It was nice to see Angela Bassett as an angry, ball-busting government official. It was a real departure from her role as angry, ball-busting government official Amanda Waller in Green Lantern. At least the wig was different.

It was nice to see Chelsea Handler cast as Reese Witherspoon’s mother. She was as forcibly funny as she is in her own talk show on a basic cable channel. Every other word out of her mouth was penis. I bet if she opened her mouth, a penis could fall out. (I could just be bitter, because I used to do stand up with her at a club called Mixed Nuts. And, she has her own show and is in a Reese Witherspoon movie and I’m not…Nah. Life’s too short to be bitter. And, I’m too short to be bitter.)

All in all, a good flick.



Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure ( Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (, A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (, and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!



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