By Michael Fitzgerald Troy
With Twilight kicking in again (oh, the humanity!), it got me wondering… where are all the homos? Seriously, where my gurls at? Sure, most people are straight (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.), but, if Taylor Lautner, R-Pats, and packs of sexy vampires were running around, I certainly wouldn’t be trying to mount Kristen Stewart. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.) And, though I’m not a big fan of Twilight, a little Edward on Jacob might make me a Twi-hard.
Like vampires and werewolves, there are different breeds of gay men: those who like Edward and those who like Jacob. There is always dissection among gay men. Madonna or Gaga? Catcher or pitcher? Edward or Jacob? I guess it all depends if you like teeth or doggy style. I admit, I find Edward far dreamier, but I certainly put Jacob in the doghouse for eating Gains Burgers!
How come there are no homos in Twilight? I promise I’m not one of those gay guys that needs every thing and person to be gay. I firmly believe Bert and Ernie really are just roommates. I just think there is too much straight angst in Twilight. And, now she’s gonna get preggers? Gag! Gay it up! Look how gay Glee is. Oh yeah, Glee was created by a gay man, and Twilight was created by a Mormon. I vote the wolf and the vampire throw the fish back and raise the baby together. Just saying.
Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!