Being the zen/hippy bulls–tter that I am, I often say, “Humanity has officially jumped the shark,” which is usually when some grave injustice or unthinkable act of unconscionable evil takes place in society (i.e.: George Zimmerman, homophobia, new Twinkies, etc.). The term “jumping the shark” of course being a metaphor for the time Fonzie water skied and jumped over a shark on Happy Days. Apparently, it was all downstream after that.
If you haven’t heard of Syfy’s original movie Sharknado, you must be living under a coral reef. Some would have you believe that the ridiculous concept of sharks being sucked up in tornadoes to be strewn about Los Angeles to feast upon the rich and famous is a sign of the impending apocalypse and, indeed, not just a ridiculous, impossible plot for a B movie. I, on the other hand, think it’s the best thing since Wonder Bread! Of course, I am shark obsessed.
Jaws is my favorite movie, I live for shark week, and despite not being much of a thrill seeker would dare to swim with the fishes. So, I was happy as a clam when I heard about Sharknado. Throw in Steve Sanders and Tara Reid and you don’t even really need popcorn for this venture! Shot in 18 days with CGI that made the original Clash of the Titans look like Avatar, it was everything I could have hoped for and more! Cheesy dialogue, ridiculously convenient plot twists, and over-the-top deaths by shark – holy mackerel! Too his credit, Ian Ziering pulled off the role of reckless man of action, leading me to believe he might even be able to pull off an action lead on the big screen. Although, I don’t understand why they darkened his hair. If we can believe a man can fly, is it really that much of a stretch to believe a blonde can kick a shark’s a–? And, while it was “perverse curiosity” fun to see Tara Reid co-starring as his wife, her performance was tantamount to watching toast brown. (Sorry, toast!). Ah, I miss party Tara Reid.
All in all, a terrible movie but a guilty pleasure, indeed. A superb appetizer for the impending Shark Week coming up on The Discovery Channel. Apparently, the virtual universe agrees as Sharknado sent Twitter all a twitter over the B-grade phenomenon. Cue the sequel, already planned and set to take place in New York. I’m sure the sharks will follow Fin played by Ziering (What an unfortunately ironic name!) to New York. And, next time, it’s sure to be personal. I, for one am chomping at the bit in anticipation.
So, in light of all of the woes of the world and the terrible things we read in the news on a daily basis, has humanity jumped the shark? Nah. I still believe in humanity. I just want a better showing.
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ABOUT MICHAEL FITZGERALD TROY:
Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!