It’s not often that date nights happen. Well, at least for this geeky parent. My wife Meghan and I love having those moments together, but our first thoughts of doing things usually come in the form of family activities – or sitting on the couch watching YouTube videos because anything else requires too much energy to even think about.
Knowing that date nights might come at a premium for everyone else, as well, it seems appropriate to share some ideas on the Geeky Parent Guide. Yes, we love geeking out with our kiddos, or watching them turn into their own geek in some way, but it’s also important to recognize the need to decompress with your significant other.
What does that look like? Well, there are plenty of activities worth exploring, and many of them require little-to-no planning or time commitment. Because if we’re being honest, finding time to make plans or to go out on a date seems impossible most of the time. So, let’s take a moment to change that and dive into some great date night ideas that you might enjoy.
Date Night-Ins Because They’re Easy & More Affordable
FOOD & A SHOW
Does a date night-in have to be dinner? No. Sometimes, our kids are spending time with the grandparents or hanging out with friends down the street. This means there is enough time to have lunch and watch something that’s been on our “watchlist” for what feels like forever. If the kids are having a sleepover at their grandparents, however, dinner is a great time to feel like you’re in the earlier years of that relationship, where free time is more readily available.
Option 1 for food and a show: Make a charcuterie platter full of meats, cheeses, veggies, crackers, and add a little fig spread to make yourself feel a little fancy. Then, throw on Somebody Feed Phil over on Netflix. Nothing says fun like snacking on treats, while watching Phil Rosenthal adventure through different cities and cultures around the world.
Option 2 for food and a show: How can you watch Gilmore Girls and not order takeout? Lorelai Gilmore is the Queen of ordering takeout, so choose your favorite place and order a bunch of different items to share. If you’re feeling spicy, try a new place that you’ve been curious about, but just didn’t feel like it was worth breaking away from your go-to takeout joint. Plus, whenever in a pinch, you can never go wrong with ordering a bunch of appetizers, which leaves your sandwich, sub, or other main dish as leftovers (for days).
WINE TASTING
How can you do a wine tasting at home? It’s easy peasy! Go to your local wine, liquor, or grocery store (depending on where you live) and pick up two, three, four, five, or six bottles of wine. What? Isn’t it wrong to suggest six bottles of wine? Isn’t that too much? Of course not – you don’t have to drink all that’s opened in one night.
The fun comes from exploring however many bottles you purchase and sampling each one. What does that one taste like? Oh, that has some effervescence. Do I detect grassiness? And is it hard to describe wine or identify notes of anything other than to say, “That tastes good?” Yes, absolutely. But the experience of exploring different wines is a way to see what you and your partner might or might not like. I would definitely recommend picking different brands from the same style.
My wife and I love sauvignon Blanc, so we’ll pick a variety, and, usually, we will pick from the same region or country. For example, we’ll taste test bottles of New Zealand sav blancs, while another time we might pick a few up that are from Chile. That’s what’s fun about this. You and your partner get to pick and choose, or better yet, it’s a fun way to surprise your significant other with a fun date night.
Now, not everyone is into wine. Not everyone is into drinking alcohol. There are ways to work around that. You can try a variety of beers. If beer isn’t your thing, get a few different ingredients to make a few cocktails. If you’re not looking to booze it up, make up some mocktails or try a soda tasting. We’ve done the latter with our own kids, which is a fun way to see if we’re as fond of those sodas we grew up loving.
DISCUSS FUTURE EVENTS WITH SOME TUNES
Sometimes, there is literally no time (or energy) to do anything. The kids are at home, but you still want to disconnect from the world and soak in time with one another. Oh, by the way, all of the previous options can be done with or without kids at home. So, turn on some music and start talking about things you and/or your partner want to do.
If you and your family travels, or you want to start, talk about those ideas. Discuss the possibility of taking a road trip and staying at an Airbnb on your next vacation. Maybe Somebody Feed Phil inspires you to visit Lisbon or Montreal or Venice. If you have kids, there is seemingly a finite window of time to explore new places. Eventually, your kiddos might tire of traveling as a family when they could spend the summer with their friends instead. If that does happen, you can discuss potential extended weekend trips for just the two of you.
Are there any projects you want to accomplish in and around your home? What do those projects look like? How much would it cost? Maybe you want to redo a room by changing the paint color; great! Hit up your local hardware store and grab as many paint swatches that grab your attention. Then, when you’re at home, start taping those swatches to the wall to see how they look. I recommend looking at them day and night, with and without sunlight, to see how the color might change with different light sources.
Perhaps you have a project (like us) where your son has some empty space behind a wall that’s connected to his closet. We opened up the wall and put in shelves for him to have storage. Plus, we had to add some fun lighting; however, some of those lights (battery-operated) did not survive the summer heat when our A/C went out last summer for two weeks.
And do you know what else is helpful, even though it’s not super glamorous? Meal planning. Meghan is definitely the ultimate meal planner, but it’s always helpful to do those things together. Plus, meal planning can come in two different forms. Planning out each meal so we know what to grocery shop for or to use what we already have. Or prep a bunch of meals together. The first option is probably better suited for a potential date night-in. It’s low key, without having to stand in the kitchen for a few hours preparing meals to store in the freezer.
Date Night Out & About
Going out for date nights is more expensive. Getting food or alcohol from the store is going to cost less money. If you’re able to, use gift cards for those limited date nights. If you don’t have any, maybe that’s something to ask for whenever someone asks what to get you for your birthday or Christmas. And don’t forget to tell them places you’d want gift cards from.
HAPPY HOUR, HAPPY CRAWL
Whether you’re interested in ordering cheap food or drinks, happy hour is most likely the best time to achieve that date night goal. Restaurants, if they offer happy hour, usually provides a decent selection of appetizers, burgers, or cocktails at a discounted price. This means you can visit your favorite local spot, or try somewhere new, while not feeling as if you’re breaking the bank to go out.
If you’re feeling adventurous, and there are at least a few spots within walking distance, go to several places in one evening. At each location, grab one beverage (e.g., water, soda, wine, etc.) and order one appetizer. Take your time and enjoy where you are. Are you sitting at the bar or standing at a high-top table? Is there music playing? Are there people to watch? Yes, people watching is definitely a thing. Then, when you’re done, close out your tab and head to the next spot.
Yes, this can still be achieved by grabbing a cab to get from place to place, if walking to multiple different places isn’t feasible. Plus, going from one place to another gives you little pockets of time to reminisce on the place you’ve just been to or talk about the place you’re going to next. It almost adds a bit of spontaneity (or a spark) to the date even though it’s a planned event.
Going from place to place is particularly fun if you’re unsure of what you want to eat. In this “happy hour, happy crawl” situation, each happy hour menu will be limited, which means making a decision should be easier. Plus, there’s a good chance you’ll see a particular item that is more appealing than the rest. If you’re already familiar with where you’re going, you could choose to grab two appetizers at your first location, while skipping food at the second. The limited variety should provide something worthwhile to try and have a very worthwhile date.
WHAT TO TALK ABOUT?
If you’re out and about, the easiest thing to talk about is each other. Talking in more detail about the past week or venting about any aches or pains (physical or emotional) that have been lingering from any part of our lives. Maybe it’s been a rough stretch of work, because so much energy is put into the care of other individuals (e.g., teachers, caregivers, therapists, etc.). Maybe you’re getting older and you pulled a muscle in your back and chest from sneezing. Yes, Meghan is a teacher. Yes, I sneeze a lot. I’m not saying they’re related.
If you feel caught up in each other’s lives, discuss future date night ideas. Talk about places you’d like to revisit. Make a decision to actually try that Korean barbecue place that’s been talked about for years. Maybe you’re sitting at a table, but mention how you want to sit at the bar next time. Then, that’ll bring up places that have great bars to sit at.
If you are at the bar, maybe ask the bartender for a drink recommendation. A few months ago, we went to a place (Matthews 1600), sat at the bar, and the bartender offered up recommendations and asked if we’d want to try something new to the menu. Besides top-notch service from that bartender, she recognized the importance of our spending time together. We never felt rushed and she always made us feel welcomed. Not saying that’s never not the case, but above-and-beyond customer service will always be remembered and appreciated.
So, if you find yourself a good bartender or waitstaff, chances are you’ll want to visit that place again. And when you’re talking about the precious, few date nights that most of us probably have, going back to a welcoming place is always a good feeling.
Other Options When Time Seems Fleeting
WALK IT OFF
Sometimes, getting out of our home and going for a walk is a nice change of pace. Not only is the exercise good for us, but it presents a different space to recharge. You and your partner can have similar conversations one might have on a date night, while using that movement to burn off any frustrations or mental fog. This is a great activity to do with or without the kids, but sometimes an incentive is required (for the adults).
What’s that? There’s a coffee shop close enough to walk to and it’s a good excuse to get your weekend started off right? Perfect. Whatever helps motivate you to tap your watch and see those step numbers increase, go for it. Weekend farmer’s markets are also a great way to stretch those legs, while also being a family-friendly opportunity, as well.
There are a variety of others ways to add some steps to your day that might help recharge your batteries or reconnect with your partner. Maybe you want to grab a dessert. Go to a mall to walk around while indulging on a sweet treat, or grab something from the coffee shop that’s in your nearest Barnes & Noble. Maybe you don’t need dessert and just want to window shop.
As weird as this might sound, Meghan and I love to run errands together. It’s something we used to do often before kids, but strayed away from so one of us could always be home with the kids. Pick up things for the garden, gifts for upcoming birthdays, toothbrushes or floss, or even cleaning supplies for the bathroom (because, no, unfortunately, ours do not clean themselves). These moments provide another chance for you and your partner to have one-on-one time.
EXTENDED WEEKEND AWAY
Finding the time and budget for a weekend away often feels like an impossible scenario. Sometimes, hotels will reduce the price of an overnight stay during certain times of the year. For example: Going to a beach town in the winter. Yes, it might be cold, but discounted rates might make a getaway possible.
Whether it’s one or two nights, there will still be ways for you to have fun while away. Going to a different city will give you the feeling of having a mini-vacation, which is drastically different than a date night-in at home. If your budget is a concern, bring board games, and plan to shop at a grocery store for meal and snack options. If you enjoy cocktails, bring a bottle from home to mix with some sparkling water – and, voilà, you have yourself a homemade hard seltzer. Add some fruit and it’ll feel even more spruced up.
If you’re able to indulge in restaurants in whatever city you choose, you can still be mindful of those costs while being able to enjoy a date night while away. There will be opportunities for those happy hour prices, with the added incentive of seeing the ins and outs of new restaurants. Sometimes, exploring a new menu or seeing the unique décor of a new place can be entertaining. And all of those moments will be with your significant other – new moments you’ll get to think back on fondly later.
And, if it’s a really wonderful experience, you can add it to your list of future trips. That’s the goal, right? Finding time is one thing, but knowing where you want to go or what you want to do is a whole other thing. Planning date nights sometimes becomes a back-burner thought process. Whether it’s taking care of your kids’ needs first and foremost, or burning the midnight oil at a job that provides less of a home life, it is hard to find time.
We all know how hard it is to find time to have a date night with our partner, so let’s mark a date on the calendar. Talk with a relative or friend who might be willing to watch the kids. If you don’t have kids, plan a day off. Do it well in advance, if you need to. Have something to look forward to, because the daily grind can make it feel as if we’re stuck in those same motions where you and your loved one just don’t get any dedicated time together.
I’m not saying it’s easy. But when you can find one afternoon or evening where you can only be in one another’s presence, even if you’re at a crowded restaurant or bar, you’ll feel like you’re the only two there. Reconnecting, recharging, enjoying each other’s company – however you want to call it, date nights are a valuable thing that we need. It allows us to step back from those parenting, overloaded work duties, or both, and roll away some of that tension that life brings us.
Take care of each other. Enjoy a great date; it’s a great way to hit the reset button. Until next time, friends, happy parenting and happy geeking (and happy dating).
