*Please note that this article is an opinion-editorial.

Welcome back to another exciting edition of Wonder Woman Wednesday! The 1981 cult classic, Mommie Dearest, starring Faye Dunaway as “not so Mother of the year Joan Crawford,” has been on my mind lately, so I thought this week we would explore the extremely complex mother/daughter relationship between Diana and her mother, dead yet again Queen Hippolyta.

Speaking of witches . . . why in the hell do certain characters have trouble staying alive? Jean Grey, Aunt May, and quite notably Queen Hippolyta? It’s like an Abe Vagoda thing. Is she dead? Is she alive? Is she blonde? Is she brunette? Inquiring minds want to know! So, currently, she’s dead. Fear not! Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger or L.L. Cool J, she’ll be back, but for now she’s pushing up daisies in Valhalla, Club Med, or wherever Amazons go when they bite the dust.

So, just like Joan Crawford, Hippolyta had questionably loose morals, screwing Hercules, Hades, and Zeus  – just to name a few notches in Gea’s girdle. She even dated Herc for a while after he raped and enslaved her. (This was before Cosmopolitan started giving dating advice, I’m presuming.) Adding to the creep factor, Hercules disguised himself as “Champion” and pursued a fling with Diana. Ewww!

Men wouldn’t be the only thing this mother/daughter duo would share. They would also share the mantle of Wonder Woman herself. Just like when Christina took ill during her run on a soap opera and being the dutiful mother she was, Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest stepped up and filled in for Christina. When Diana joined the trend of popular heroes flatlining, dutiful Mother Hippolyta stepped up and filled in for Diana as Wonder Woman. What a spotlight-stealing glory hound!

I suppose if you think about it, Hippolyta’s been treating Diana like crap since she sculpted her from clay from the shores of Paradise Island. Or, since Zeus didn’t pull out fast enough, depending on whom you ask. She tried to forbid her from competing in a competition to take Steve Trevor back to Man’s World. She’s banished her from the island a few times. She made her forget all about Steve Trevor to “spare” her pain. She made some creepy, old sorceress her nanny. You know, your typical mom B.S.

Here’s hoping Hippo doesn’t stay dead for long. I didn’t realize she was this interesting until I started yammering on about her. She’s almost Diana’s best adversary this side of curly hair and humidity. Hopefully, she finds her way back from the netherworld sooner than later. Maybe she can have an affair with Superman or Etta Candy. Or not.