By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

First of all to all you persnickety poo poohs, I don’t really know all there is to know about The Hunger Games. I’m just being referential to an old pop culture reference. As a matter of fact, I came on a little late in the game. (Oh, how I love puns!)

I had heard buzz about the books being like Twilight, so, naturally, the simile triggered my gag reflex. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as ready for a shirtless werewolf or vampire as the next queen, but I really don’t need to see Kristen Stewart popping out the demon seed.

It was actually my colleague, editor, and ultimate Fangirl Barbra J. Dillon that convinced me to get on the Hunger tip. She’s obsessed with Katniss and even dresses up as her in an RKO fireside chat-type portrayal of Miss Everdeen in The Katniss Chronicles. Yes, she is that girl! Don’t fret, she is absolutely perfect as Katniss, so much so I even imagine Babs as Katniss when I read the books. I seldom read books without pictures, so that is kind of a big deal. Needless to say, I immediately fell in love with the book! (Thanks, Barb!) Now, on to the movie.

Obviously, since it made a butt load of moolah and everyone is ravenous about the source material, it was a good flick. Although, I shouldn’t say “obviously,” as Avatar made a blue butt load of moolah, and that stinker should have been flushed down the can. Avatar was Pocahontas meets Fern Gully, and, apparently, The Hunger Games is a rip-off of Battle Royale, but I never saw it, so who cares.

I think what makes the book so great hurt the film a tiny bit. Don’t get me wrong, they did a fairly good job of bringing it to the silver screen, but the lush backstory and little asides that were lost in translation were sorely missed. I think that if you hadn’t read the book, a few scenes may leave you scratching your pretty, little head.

Very fitting to release the film in early spring, as residents of The Capitol looked like brightly colored Easter eggs scattered through the audience. Effie looked like a gorgeous, 18th Century, purple, hot albino mess, and Wes Bentley’s baby blues are always welcome onscreen, although, I hope his weird Mike Tyson tattoo-looking goatee doesn’t start a trend. You gotta let gold rule, as no one rocks gilded eyeshadow better than Lenny Kravitz. Crazy pothead Woody Harrelson as crazy drunkard Haymitch wasn’t what I had in mind, but I enjoyed his presence nonetheless. Peeta was a little too good looking, and Gale was mostly swept under the rug. Stanley Tucci is always a treasure. The characters could have been better developed and the action was a little lacking for my taste, but all in all a pretty good bit of cinema. If it rakes in a bajillion zillion bucks, it can’t be that bad.

In case you didn’t read the book or see the movie or are in a coma, The Hunger Games is about randomly selected children that are forced to fight to the death.

THAT IS SO F*#KED UP!!!

There. I said it.

So now, I guess I gotta read two more books without pictures. (Thanks a lot, Barbra!)

So, I say you have a fairly good chance of enjoying The Hunger Games. And, as always, may the odds be ever in your favor.

The Hunger Games is in theaters now. Right now! (Except District 13, that done blowed up real good.)

Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!