By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Jesus, save me.

Well, hello, Dolly. Well, hello, Dolly – it’s so nice to have you back where you belong. It’s been 19 years since Dolly Parton has appeared on film, and Joyful Noise marks her triumphant return to the silver screen, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

9 to 5 was the first 45 record I ever owned (If you don’t know what a 45 is, kiddies, do grandma a favor and look it up.), and I fell in love with Dolly instantly. With an angelic voice that sounds like a marshmallow soaked in honey, a platinum blonde wig halfway to heaven, and two ginormous pumped up ti- er… um lips, what’s not to love?

Written and directed by Todd Graff (clearly a big queen), Joyful Noise co-stars Queen Latifah, Keke Palmer, and the adorable little puppy dog, Jeremy Jordan.

I was a little nervous that we would venture too far into Lifetime territory, but I was quickly roped in to this feel-good fest. Only Dolly Parton could possibly deliver sinfully Southern lines like, “Trying to get something past me is like trying to get the sunrise past a rooster.” And, I would be remiss in my duties as fashion observer not to give props to Ms. Parton’s cinched, fitted choir gown.

Be my Queen, if you know what I mean. She can act, she can sing, and she’s funny as funk- what more can I possibly say about her majesty, Queen Latifah? She’s always good in anything she does. Keke Palmer is a true talent, as beautiful as she is vocally talented, and a natural onscreen. Not a big MJ fan, I loved her version of The Man in the Mirror. Her future is certain.

A feel-good dramedy about a Gospel choir competition starring a big black lesbian and a country-fried, self-described drag queen- how could you possibly wrong?

I’m spiritual but not religious, but, Lord help me, I love me some gospel music. Music raises your spiritual vibration- color me vibrated. I LOVED the music of Joyful Noise.

I laughed. I cried. I sharted. It was better than Cats.

Amen.

Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!