By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Put your trays in the upright position and prepare for landing. Although it hasn't been exactly smooth sailing for ABC's nighttime soap about Barbies in the sky, it has gotten better with each episode, and this week proves to be no exception, as we finally delve into the background of my favorite stewardess, Maggie (portrayed by the always fabulous Christina Ricci).

As much as I cared for the feisty, pint-sized pixie with a bit of a mouth on her, there seemed to be something a little manufactured and forced about the character and now we know why. It seems Maggie doesn't officially meet up to Pan Am's strict policies of Stepford perfection. She's a fraud. A fake. She doesn't even speak Portuguese for the love of Cuban Pete! She learned it from her tyrannical Portuguese boss as- gasp! A waitress! Not that there's anything wrong with that. I come from a long line of proud hash slingers.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Mr. Spock is gay. Sort of, but not really. So, Zachary Quinto (Heroes), who played Mr. Spock in J. J. Abrams' genius re-imagining of the Star Trek franchise, is gay. Yuh huh. He came out of the closet. To be honest, for me, he fell under that category of celebrities that seemed obviously gay to me and shocked everyone else. You know, like Ricky Martin or Rosie O'Donnell.

Being the big Zen/Queen that I am, I'm all about balance and ying and yang and all that bull crap, but I've never understood why so many actors stay in the closet and who these headless people are that think they are straight. I understand to an extent. Breeders- er, straight people, rather- do have a ways to go before completely accepting the homosexual population. I suppose I would be less bitter if I didn't live in a state where "gay marriage" was legal for five minutes. A woman's right to vote should go by the wayside next, don'tcha think? Absurd? Yes. Any who, I think actors are afraid to be pigeonholed if they come out. Zach came out and immediately broke the mold by playing a neurotic, gay interior designer on my new favorite show on FX, American Horror Story. Way to break the mold, Zachy baby. I lost plenty of roles I was born to play to straight actors. Once again, not bitter.

I wondered how Trekkies felt about homosexuality, and it would make sense that forward thinking wouldn't even call it to your attention in Star Trek land. In the future, dare I say it.. might there even be a "cure" for homosexuality? (Gasp!) Which brings me to my next point...

Homosexuality is logical. A good friend of mine said his father viewed it as nature's way of population control. Duh. That always made so much sense to me. If we can't overpopulate this mud ball, at least we can decorate it.

First Sulu, now Spock? The future is teeming with fairies. Beam me up!!!

I think higher-profile actors like Zach Quinto and Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser, Jr. Gynecologist has a terrible ring to it!) coming out is a good thing. I hope this paves the way and inspires others to be brave and proud of who they are! Yes, Richard Simmons, I'm talking to you.

P.S. I'm gay.

Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the '70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael's first published book, Homo-Hero's Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the "Divas and Lassoes" panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his "underground" status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Come listen to a story about a man named Jed, poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed. Then, one day, he was shootin' for some food, and up from the ground came a bubblin' crude... oil that is. Black gold. Texas tea. Well, next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. Is that the theme to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hillbillies? Not hardly. I think if old Jed had been warned about the Harpies of Beverly Hills, he and his kinfolk may have happily stayed in the Ozarks, pooping in a broom closet in the back yard.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Picture it: Harlem, 1973, a beautiful, young African-Americanw oman bursts onto the scene to fight crime. Daughter of a young junkie prostitute that was beaten and raped by a pimp, the girl wished to escape the torment and vindicate the harsh treatment she and other women like her faced in the socially changing times. In a time of women's lib and civil rights, the country needs a strong black woman to use her Afro of truth and fight for justice and the African-American way. It's a word, it's a plan, it's... Wonder Sister? Not so much? This may be how Wonder Woman could have been done in the '70s by the socially conscious Denny O'Neil and Neal Adams. Their Green Lantern and Green Arrow run was, and still is, legendary. I believe it was the 1st time a sidekick (Speedy) was turned into a junkie. You never saw Robin free-basing in the Bat cave after all. Sweet Christmas? I know, right?