Vampires? Honestly, Abe!

Abe Lincoln MTBy Michael Fitzgerald Troy

Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And, gave her mother 40 whacks.
When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41.

And, Abraham Lincoln? What did he do when he picked up a silver-laden hatchet?  Well, open a can of good old fashioned whoop @$$ and annihilate a bunch of vampires while ending slavery and The Civil War, all at the same time. Or, at least that is what the new film Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, directed by Timur Bekmambetov and based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith, would have you believe.

Judas was paid 30 silver pieces to betray Jesus, thus God made silver the curse of the cursed.  Cool. Silver is so much classier any way; gold only looks good for the ghetto fabulous. 

So, take a genius idea, work it into historical "truthiness," and you've got a fun summer popcorn movie.

Lincoln is one of my favorite presidents, but I happen to believe his physical limitations alone would make this film impossible. Oh yeah, that and the lack of existence of real vampires - not that I haven't met my fair share of blood suckers, mind you. That said, I dug this flick.  Well written, well acted, and for the love of Pete for once in a blue moon, a fresh, new concept that I CAN sink my teeth into! (Pun intended in all caps!)

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter is in theaters now.



Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the '70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael's first published book, Homo-Hero's Big Book of Fun and Adventure ( Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (, A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (, and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the "Divas and Lassoes" panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his "underground" status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!


Last modified on Friday, 21 June 2013 01:34

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