There Will Be Blood is not just the Oscar-nominated Paul Thomas Anderson film from 2007. It is also the 2010 zombie horror film written and directed by Andy and Chrissy Edge and starring their own children, Sara and Jack. Blood tells the story of an innocent game of baseball that gets interrupted when one of the neighborhood kids discovers a green, glowing canister. Since they are obvious fans of Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, they open it in the hopes of becoming superheroes. Instead, they unleash zombie terror. It will take all of Sara’s survival instincts to defeat them and save her brother.
WHY YOU SHOULD SEE IT
Five words: “Eat thainthaw, you thombie thcum!” Sara Edge nails the Ellen Ripley archetype in the strong, female lead, and she doesn’t even need her front teeth to do it. The unlikely grade school hero against a horde of eight year-old zombies, Sara proves handy with a baseball bat, an axe (!), and a chainsaw (!!!!!!). Not to worry. No children were harmed in the making of this film. Parents supervised every shot, and no dangerous power tools were operated by the stars.
However, don’t believe it’s a PG-rated film just because it stars a G-rated cast. As soon as young Alex Louden mutates into the first zombie, he bites off chunks of sliced Butterball turkey flesh from his victims and leaves a trail of Heinz ketchup destruction in his wake. Only swift decapitation can stop him, decapitation from a thainthaw. As sweet, syrupy zombie blood splatters against the garage wall, I’m thinking, “Eat your heart out, George A. Romero, and soon because these kids might beat you to it.”
The Edge family knows what makes classic zombie cinema. Scratchy film filters give it the underground edge. Eerie undertones score the rising tension. Stumbling zombie point-of-view shots pursue the heroes. Quick zooms and loud crashes heighten the threat. A surprise twist leaves no victim unharmed. If this is the Halloween family film to dethrone Frankenweenie and Paranorman, so be it!
WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT
There Will Be Blood is available on YouTube.