Simply Jack

Simply Jack (68)

Favorite '80s Comic Series: Strikeforce Morituri
Favorite '80s Hairstyle: Mullet (also, Fe-Mullet)
Favorite Decade: '80s

So, my editor was all, “Jack, you suck.  You need to review more comics,“ and I was all, “Yeah, editor, but Destiny is so good, and I have virtual friends now!” Then, my editor was all, “I don’t care, Jack – write this review.”

So, that’s why I’m writing this review.  Good story, right?

Disney Bad Guy, Magician, Immortal, Amoral, Evil, Scary Looking, and Devil-Deal-Maker . . . Rasputin hada bad reputation.  How much of this is true?  Well, I’m something of a fan of the big R, so I can speak (a little) to the myth surrounding this guy . . . and it’s mostly myth.  He probably had some food allergies, he definitely had some paranoia, so he likely didn’t eat the poison.  The rest (stabbing, drowning, beating, etc.) . . . as far as I know (and I am too lazy to research right now) is just conjecture, myth, and guess work.  So, why the century-long (almost) obsession with the guy?  He was self-made (came from peasant stock), he had a scary beard, and he survived an assassination attempt or two.  Plus, he was super weird and somewhat powerful . . . and had a reputation for being a mystic. (Court Magician, anyone?)

Here’s a new one: a graphic novel/CD combination!  I jumped at the chance to write this (these two) reviews of Spurs #1, so here goes.

I’m sure you’re all already aware of Cal McDonald?  No?  Well, you should be.  He’s this really cool anti-hero who’s been around for like 20 years, inspiring people like me to protect the innocent, punish the guilty, and be super badass, like, all the time. ‘Cause that’s what I do.
So, anyway, today we’re reviewing Criminal Macabre, the latest mini-series by writer and creator Steve Niles.  You know Steve?  Good guy – he is kind of someone.  I mean, he’s the 30 Days of Night guy . . . Oh you’ve heard of that one?  Well, this guy is responsible.  Which makes him a genius and worth remembering his name. I’m not mad, just don’t do it again. 

Where was I?

I had never heard of this graphic novel before I agreed to read and review it.  I thought it would be just another post-apocalyptic hero mag.  Marvel has done this a few times with some pretty impressive results (Old Man Logan is the best, in my opinion.), and I figured this baby would be like some of the others. (Zombies was interesting – there have been a bunch.)

Holy crap I was wrong.

I just finished Dark Horse’s new trade paperback, Furious, and I gotta say – it’s pretty damn good.  I’ll get into why in a bit.  First, a nod to our creators: art by Victor Santos – hopefully, you know his name by now.  If not, get with the times, because this guy is the real deal.  He’s worked on any number of impressive books, but Mice Templar might ring a bell.  I mention this comic, because the writer of Furious is none other than the writer and founder of Mice Templar, Bryan J. L. Glass.  I forgive him his second middle initial (barely), because he is so goddamned talented.

I have to be honest – I am feeling more pressure to write this review than any other review I have written (not a lot, like 40 or so – still, this is the big one).  Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead is a freaking cinematic masterpiece.  I am not f--king with you.  I understand if you’re skeptical about this claim, so I don’t ask that you totally believe me – just give me the benefit of the doubt.  I’m not kidding when I say I enjoyed this movie more than any other movie I’ve seen in 2014, including the obvious blockbusters.

Here I go.

I don’t know why, but I find myself immersed in samurais lately.  They’re everywhere!  Between Black Dynamite, 7th Sword, and even TMNT, everything is about katanas and honor.  Now, for those of you who have read my reviews, you’d know that in any samurai tale, I’d be a bad guy.  Here’s this bad guy’s view of the latest samurai tale I’ve read, Onna-bugeisha (by Frank Candiloro).

This comic is not for small children!  Adolescents?  Yep.  Twenty-somethings and up?  Yep.  Small children?  It probably won’t do much harm, because this comic has references and art that are so over the top that the little tykes won’t even know what they're seeing (or reading).

Describing this comic will be hard.

I’m on vacation.  And, my editor totally decided I needed to write a review anyway.  So, here I am jet-skiing, drinking beer, shooting off fireworks (‘Merica!), and otherwise red-necking it up in my hometown, and I was forced to not only read a comic, but to review it.  And, I have like 300 comics to catch up on (and planned to read during my vacation), and now I’m suffering through writing a review.  For you.  I hope you’re happy.

So anyway, Raymond Fields (writer), Marc Olivent (art/letters), and Rachel Ward (colors) should be afraid, because I have a beer buzz and a white trash attitude (Staying with my parents.).  This review is gonna DRAW BLOOD.

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