Tread Perilously is a podcast in which hosts Erik Amaya and author Justin Robinson watch the “worst” episodes of popular TV shows, attempting to determine if they would continue to watch the series based on the most off-key moments.

This Week: L.A. Confidential’ s “Pilot”

Tread Perilously continues its tour of failed TV pilots with 2003’s L.A. Confidential.

Hard-boiled Los Angeles detective Jack Vincennes (Kiefer Sutherland) will do anything to get transferred back to Narco and bring down a heroin racket. But since he’s in stuck in Ad-Vice, he tries to uncover the source of the heroin anyway. Meanwhile, Detective Ed Exley (David Conrad) takes his job in the Internal Affairs Division way too seriously. As a consequence, he gets reassigned to deal with an extortion threat against Marylin Monroe. Officer Bud White (Josh Hopkins) gets noticed by Captain Dudley Smith (Tom Nowicki) who could use Bud’s propensity for violence on a new taskforce. But first, he must play bodyguard at a luau hosted by Pierce Patchett (Eric Roberts), where Bud meets the new-in-town Lynn Bracken (Melissa George) and catches wind of a murder.

Erik and Justin reveal they are both fans of James Ellroy’s L.A. Quartet –– and it informs all of their opinions of the pilot. Justin tries to figure out why Sutherland is in this, despite 24 being on the air. Magneto shows up to take over directing duties. The game L.A. Noire gets nothing but praise, as does the L.A. Confidential feature film. Dick Stensland gets re-envisioned as “Stenz the Menace,” while Dudley Smith becomes an Odin worshiper. Erik points out the difficulties in making a film about The Hat Squad, and Justin suggests a page-one rewrite.

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