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Featured Series

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

I was a little harsh in my review of DC's Nu 52 direction for Wonder Woman. Okay, way harsh. Maybe I was having my period. Just one of those days; don't take it personal. I'm not always like this. Enough with the menstrual jokes, I promise! It's just hard to resist when reviewing Wonder Woman.

The good news is all is forgiven. In Issue #2 of the new Wonder Woman, Queen Hippolyta is revealed and she is blonde! All of my prayers have been answered. As much as I love George Perez (and, I love me some George Perez!), it always chapped my ass that he gave Hippo a raven Jheri curl post-Crisis on Infinite Earths. I know it makes more sense to have a "which one is the daughter, which one is the mother" moment, but I have a soft spot in my heart for platinum-tressed divas, being of the blonde tribe myself. (What can I tell you, I was born this way!)

 

*Spoilers, bitches!*

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

Hot on the heels of more seemingly endless bad publicity (her crystal choppers being all the rage last week), Lindsay Lohan is back in the slammer again. For a probation violation this time. And, Bluewater Productions couldn't be happier. Their Lindsay Lohan bio-comic was released the same day "Two-toot Sally" went back in the slammer again. You just can't pay for publicity like that. I should know, as I'm the biggest publicity whore in the tri-state area, and it IS hard out there for a pimp. Sure, she'll be free by the time you read this, as her justice system seems to have a revolving door. But, just for the fun of it, let's pretend she is shackled to some super affectionate woman with "Bertha" somewhere in her nickname, shall we?

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

In my humble opinion, ABC's Pan Am is one of the best shows on TV. I had my fears in the beginning that it may be more style over substance - not that there's anything wrong with that.

A little short on character in the pilot (the 1st episode, not the hunky blonde commanding the 333,600 lb. bucket of bolts), subsequent episodes have shown character and story development, and this week is no exception, as the girls' flight is rerouted to the Orient, forcing them into all kinds of toil and trouble.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

I don't speak Themyscrian, but I can if you like. Hot on the heels of the announcement that Brian Azzarello would be changing up Wonder Woman's origin - that's right, kiddies... it seems maybe she wasn't born that way after all - I realized we haven't seen hide nor hair of Wonder Woman's baby sis. No! Not Debra Winger! (Who gives a magic lasso about that bloated old hag?!) I'm talking about everyone's favorite hot mess. For years, we have been pondering, "Who is Donna Troy?" (No relation.) Now, I wanna know, where is Donna Troy?!

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

What should you be reading? The Ladies' Home Journal? (Probably.) You'll just have to settle for my latest commentary on ABC's delicious new "Soap Opera in the skies," Pan Am.

Kennedy is in town and he likes stewardesses; we're going to a party. That could easily sum up the entire episode, but I'd like to look a little closer at the extra smokehouse almonds we were treated to this flight.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

Huntress is one of those characters that I could go either way on. It seems like many a fanboy are ravenous for the raven-haired, Batman family black sheep. Like Donna Troy and Power Girl (Hey! Where the hell did they land in this messy game of 52 pick up?) I've enjoyed her in the past: Infinity Inc. - yes, I'm dating myself - hey, when I grow up, I want to be an old woman! (Thanks, Michelle Shocked.) And, I also enjoyed Gail Simone's portrayal of Helena Bertinelli over in the pre-52 Nu DC U in Birds of Prey. Hey, now that Valerie Bertinelli has managed to keep off the 50 lbs. of baby fat from 30 years ago due to Jenny Craig, can she be the new Huntress? Flying around Italy in designer outfits by day, pigging out on slimming frozen entrees ,loaded with god-only-knows-what unnatural ingredients by night. Geez! No wonder Batman never cared for "Hunty" that much. Throw in the fact that she has been known to shidazzle Bats' favorite boy toy, Dick Grayson, every now and again, and I'm not surprised she has a big bat symbol on her big, greasy Guidette forehead.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

I want to go where the people dance. I want some Action. I want to live. Action, I got so much to give. I want to give. I want to give it. I want to get some, too.

Alicia Bridges, I love the nightlife.

Forgive my flaming opening, but when in doubt, disco. The Superman "S" is one of the most recognizable symbols on the planet (if not the universe, if my superstitions are correct.). I don't think there is a male alive that didn't make a makeshift cape of some sort to emulate the man of steel. So what if mine looked more like Mr. Furley's ascot? Who hasn't slept to dream, per chance to fly? There is nothing more exhilarating than dreaming you can fly and nothing more disappointing than waking up and realizing you can't. When I was little, my uncle Mike, whom I was NOT named after... that honor goes to Michael Corleone from The Godfather, capice?  Like many wide-eyed little boys, I did believe a man could fly. Christopher Reeve will always be my Superman. I was heartbroken when he passed. Obviously, Margot Kidder is my Lois Lance, hence my YouTube tribute to her, A Minute with Margot. Superman speaks to the child in all of us that still believes anything is possible. Superman is a symbol, a reminder that anything IS possible.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

Certain people felt the 1st week of Pan Am lacked substance. I, for one, saw this as a bonus and knew full well that the characters would draw us in more as the weeks progressed. Week 2 did that with a vengeance.

This week's Pan Am gave us a smorgasbord board of juicy intrigue and satisfaction, voyeuristically peering into the lives of the scandalous sixties' stewardesses with hearts of gold.

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

Okay, I can admit I may be a bit partial (let's leave the unbiased journalism to the likes of televangelist Nancy Grace). Aside from being a screaming queen- I have a special, vested interest in Charlie's Angels, and I shall reveal such interests here for the first time. And, it goes something like this:

By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

Don't get me wrong; I love strippers. I'm sorry-- exotic dancers. Is that the PC term for people who take off their clothes and rub their boobs on the chuttles of anyone who has the right amount of cash for a proper lap dance? I mean, I finally have come to terms with the fact that I'll never have the physique to be a go-go boy. Hell, my friend, Scotty, and my favorite movie is Showgirls. "We're all whores, darlin'."

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