Wonder Woman Wednesday: New Duds a Huge Dud!

*Please note that this article is an opinion-editorial.


Last week here at Wonder Woman Wednesday, we talked about the iconic nature of Wonder Woman's star-spangled panties. Hot on the heels of my blog, the most recent issue of Wonder Woman was released under the watchful eye of the writer/artist, husband/wife team of David and Meredith Finch. Ahem . . . The most recent issue debuted a new costume, because no one demanded it. Diana, a badass Amazon, is now covered from head to toe in a horribly designed, aesthetically unappealing bastardization of the iconic outfit that endeared legions of fans in the 1940s.

I'm all for change, if it's for the better. It's like doing a remake of a song or a movie; it damn well better be as good or better than the original, or you may as well not bother. The wheel hasn't gotten any better last time I checked, has it?

The tiara is fair enough. From there, it takes a horrible turn. We have a Neru Jacket/priest collar for seemingly no reason. I see no reason this side of Zeus to "take it to church." We have covered cleavage with the current double "W" chest piece still in tact. The annoyingly scalloped bodice (When did that become a thing?) remains. I think we have Jim Lee to thank for that annoying touch of overkill. There are a couple of stars thrown in as an afterthought. Quit hating the stars, people! It might not make ultimate sense, but stars say "Wonder Woman" - let it go!

One need look no further than Lynda Carter, or "Good Girl," and long-running Wonder Woman cover artist Adam Hughes for plausibility. Yes, it's a bathing suit, but it is THE bathing suit! The boots are traditional but extended. Reminiscent of John Byrnes' amalgamation of Wonder Woman and Storm for The Marvel/DC Crossover, "Amazon," but in a clunky, not flattering way. (Apparently, Diana's gonna need hip boots for this bull---t makeover!) And, long sleeves just for good measure, adorned with '90s metal shoulder pads with a huge nod to anatomically incorrect "father of random designs" Rob Liefeld.

Who is this woman and where is she going?

Writer Meredith Finch has claimed to have been itching to "eff up," or rather "change," the iconic Wonder Woman costume to be more reflective of her schizophrenic role as Amazon Queen, Super Hero, and God of War. (It's hard out there for a pimp!) I don't see how a mash up of Lobster Head Zatanna and Iron Man and Captain America's love child reflects that, but who the hell am I, anyways?

So, just when you think it couldn't get any worse . . . it does. Nothing says "Wonder Woman" more than a big red V over Diana's crotch. Certainly not being vag-phobic, but that's a little too literal for my blood. And, I really don't know what else to say, except I'm gonna go and poke my eyes out after I cry for an hour. But, Like "Mullet Superman," "Azrael Batman," "Captain Hook Aquaman," or any old "Crisis on Infinite Monday"- this too shall pass.

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