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DC’s nU Horror Take on Wonder Woman: Don’t Be Scurred… Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. They’re All Gonna Laugh at You!!!

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By Michael Fitzgerald Troy

 

Okay. Um. Okay. Yeah. So, with the DCnU launch of 52 New #1s, I admit Wonder Woman was one of the titles I was most excited about. Cautiously optimistic albeit, but excited nonetheless. Can you blame me? After the promise and subsequent let down of previous “bold and exciting new adventures” from sure-fire bets such as Allan Heinberg, Jodi Picoult, and even fan fave Gail Simone, I always want the monthly Wond-y book to be stellar but know all too well there is a better-than-not chance it’s gonna suck big, giant donkey balls. So, how was acclaimed writer Brian Azzarello’s (100 Bullets, Batman: Joker) new “horror take” on Wonder Woman? To paraphrase Nancy Sinatra, “Balls. Start suckin’!”

Don’t get me wrong, I like Brian Azzarello as a writer, although, I should say he is very hit or miss for me. (Loved Batman: Joker. Hated his run on Superman with Jim Lee.) The costume was a little boring. If you are going to redesign a classic, give me something Vogue Couture and not Hanes Her Way. Make it work. The art by Cliff Chiang was very nice. I like his slick, polished style. It reminds me of the art in the instructions of my mom’s hair dye kits from when I was little. (I know it sounds insulting, but those dames were gorgeous!)  And, I give total props for trying a new avenue for Wonder Woman that no one has tried before (even if it is Stephen King street). Horror may be the right definition since, after reading this confusing tome, I put the book down, looked up, and “Wondered” aloud, “What the Hell?”

*Spoilers!* Kinda. But, not really. The story opens with a would-be king at a party that levitates a bunch of whores and spills their drinks. Cut to some green bitch in a barn beheading a white horse. (I’m as much a fan of The Godfather as the next queen – I was named after Michael Corleone after all – but seriously?) So, a demon rises from the blood of the horse. Naked Wonder Woman is awaken (naughty clay needs sleep, too, apparently) by a frantic white trash girl with a shot gun. They fight the demons who reveal that said white trash has a bun in the oven. What the hell? Horrific? No doubt. Looking forward to the next issue? Kind of. But, not really.

 

 


 

 

Michael Troy is a deeply superficial person. Born in the midwest in the ’70s, Michael came to Los Angeles to pursue his bi-polar career path as an actor and artist. 2005 saw the release of Michael’s first published book, Homo-Hero’s Big Book of Fun and Adventure (www.greencandypress.com). Michael has contributed to the Lady Gaga comic book from Bluewater Productions and has his hand in various other upcoming projects. Michael has performed stand-up comedy at all of the major comedy clubs in Los Angeles and is making his triumphant return to the main stage of The Comedy Store in September. Michael offers an off-beat sense of humor as the star of such youtube cult classics As The Gays on Film (www.youtube.com/fullfrontaltv), A Minute With Margot, a loving tribute to Superman legend Margot Kidder (http://www.youtube.com/user/rktcommander), and currently hosts a vlog style series Lethally Blonde over at www.monsterburg.com. Sitting alongside industry heavyweight Phil Jimenez at the “Divas and Lassoes” panel for the 2010 San Diego comic-con, Michael maintains and cherishes his “underground” status. A staunch believer in Blonde Ambition, Michael hopes his new comic about shallow blonde super heroes in Los Angeles, The Blonde Squad, will set the world on fire (or at least brighten it a bit). Check out Michael Troy and Lethally Blonde updates here!!!

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