Fanbase Press’ Geeky Love Letters: A Love Letter to Super Mario

Love is in the air at Fanbase Press! In this magical month of romance and enchantment, the Fanbase Press Staff and Contributors decided to stop and smell the roses. Throughout the week of Valentine’s Day, a few members of the Fanbase Press crew will be sharing their personal love letters to the areas of geekdom they adore the most.

Dear Mario,

I’ve spent many years watching you embark on various adventures—to varying levels of success. I remember our first encounter with great fondness. Despite the pixelation, I could tell that you had a caring face and a warm heart. Over the years, you have always made it your mission to save others and eliminate threatening evils. The world, clouds, ocean, desert, and underground piping systems are safer spaces because of you. As you continue your mission for the greater good of humanity, I will keep admiring you and all of your strengths.

I have always been so impressed with how fast you can run and how far you can jump. You should really consider entering Ninja Warrior, because I think you would have a serious chance at winning. You certainly climb beanstalks with no problem, so you would dominate any of the ropes obstacles. And if you whip out a feather or two, you will have an immediate flying advantage.

While you clearly have the moves, your artillery is also rather impressive, especially in the fireballs department. You are such a natural assassin that I would always feel safe from any threat as long as you were around. My only request is that you limit your star usage. I’m not asking you to go completely clean, but you on star is a little too psychedelic and high-speed for my comfort level.

I know you don’t speak much, and that’s okay. Your manual dexterity and battle skills don’t need to be accompanied by deep conversation. As long as you climb into your frog suit every once in awhile, we can do without verbal communication.

You keep going after Princess Peach, but Mario, why would you want to be with someone who just gets captured all the time? That must be exhausting—enough is enough already. It’s time to move on and let the princess fend for herself. Or let Luigi rescue her instead. You could use a vacation—and not the kind where you slide down a pipe and collect coins—a real vacation, away from cloud worlds and castles filled with lava pits. And since you will soon become so much more portable, we can go anywhere. But to start, how about next week I pick you up in my go-kart and we go out for pizza? What kind do you like—mushroom?

Love always,
Lady Lemon

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