A Guide to Asgard! Part 3: The Warriors Three!

It’s almost here!  Thor opens this Friday, May 6th (Pacific Standard Time) and we, here at Sam’s Wednesday Slog Corporation International, couldn’t be more excited.  Over the past two weeks, we’ve looked at Thor, his family, and his enemies, and now it’s time to learn about his Asgardian warrior pals, The Warriors Three!  After all, what would a Norse thunder god be without a little bromance in his life?  These colorful gents fight alongside Thor and are willing to die in the name of Thor and Asgard!  They have journeyed with him to the furthest realms dispatching foes and bravely facing evil for their friend and master!!  They are even there for him when he needs to just vent about work or whatever!!!


Fandral, played by Josh Dallas

Fandral the Dashing, as he persistently refers to himself, is a brave swordsman who accompanies Thor on many of his adventures and is one third of the trifecta that is The Warriors Three!  Based on the persona of Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood, Fandral’s bravery and nobility are matched only by his relentless optimism, whimsy, and super sweet facial hair.  No matter what the odds or how many foes Fandral faces, he unfailingly fights fearlessly and never flees (this sentence was brought to you by the letter “F”).  His skills with edged weapons are unmatched even when compared to other Asgardians, and Thor refers to him as “the best of us with a blade,” thus explaining the killer facial hair.


Hogun, played by Tadanobu Asano


Hogun the Grim, or “Hogey” for short, is the quiet and mysterious one of the group and based loosely on the persona of Charles Bronson, in that both were circus performers and bare-knuckle boxers, and are the subject of a 2008 movie called Bronson, starring Tom Hardy.  Because Stan Lee is a lazy ass, little is known about Hogun’s past except that, unlike most Asgardians, he is not an Aesir (a good god) and his homeland, which is still UNNAMED (GET ON THE STICK, LEE!) was conquered years ago by Mogul of the Mystic Mountain, or “Mogey” for short.  Possessing super strength and a healing ability, Hogun is a master of all weapons; however, he prefers and is most often portrayed using a powerful mace.  Perhaps it was that his people were killed and enslaved by an evil dictator that has made the “Hogue-meister” so grim or maybe it’s that he always gets skipped in “Uno.”  Whatever the reason, the stoic “Hogue-cheese” fights bravely alongside his companions when needed, but, when the battle is over, you’ll find him in a quiet corner . . . knitting something . . . alone.

Volstagg, played by Ray Stevenson

The last and largest of Thor’s entourage is Volstagg the Voluminous.  Modeled after Shakespeare’s Falstaff, Volstagg is a merry braggart, a noisy glutton, an arrogant coward, and, despite all that due entirely to his frilly hat, respected by Thor and the other warriors.  Serving as comic relief, Volstagg bumbles alongside his companions, more often than not complicating the many adventures through ignorance or clumsiness.  Hiding during battles, prematurely self-congratulating, chasing women, and unwittingly falling on foes are just a few of the ways in which Volstagg aids his friends  in combat.  Notably older than the other two-thirds of The Warriors Three, Volstagg is revealed to be a family man spoiling his many children at every opportunity.  With an abundance of girth and a lack of courage, this well-meaning and lovable warrior is a vital part of The Warriors Three!

So, that’s the end of your lesson, kiddies.  Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy Thor.  Remember, it opens this Friday, May 6th, in 3-D and 2-D, and it’s just been announced that Thor will be playing in the rare 2-D Fru-D format for those lucky enough to have an accommodating theater.

Last modified on Tuesday, 25 December 2018 00:37

Sam Rhodes

Favorite MovieYojimbo
Favorite Game:  The newest version of Halo
Favorite Beverage:  Ballast Point's Big Eye IPA

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