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Fanboy Comics Special Matters Report for 2011

velociraptor2 87eGreetings, Fellow Geeks!!!

Here at Fanboy Comics we’re about more than just comic books, geek gossip, and making butt loads of cash. In an attempt to save the world from itself (and the inevitable self-aware cell phone revolt), each member of the FBC staff has taken on a special burden, an additional job title which is essential to our ongoing plan to save the comics, In-n-Out, and the planet. As President of the company, I demand from my staff an annual report of these “Special Matters.” Also, as a symbol of our integrity and transparency, we post said report for public view by our readers!

Below, you will find the official Fanboy Comics Special Matters Report for 2011.  This report was originally presented on February 9th, 2011.


-Annual Report On Velociraptor Resources by Director of Velociraptor Resources, Bryant Dillon

In the department of Velociraptor Resources, we have been doing our best to supply Velociraptors with whatever technological advantages we can imagine. Given that the Velociraptor will essentially be (according to FBC’s plan) the meter maid of the future, we feel we’ve given them a number of physical upgrades which will assist in their missions. This includes lasers and light-bending, camouflage technology (like in Predator).

-Annual Report On Assisting Diana Prince by Assistant to Diana Prince, Sam Rhodes

While there are many superheroes out there, there’s only one that factors into Fanboy Comics’ world-rescuing agenda: Wonder Woman (a.k.a. Diana Prince)! While Ms. Prince isn’t having the best year (and word on the street is that her assistant isn’t too fond of her recent costume change), FBC’s Sam Rhodes reported confidently that there was not much to report. Stellar!

-Annual Report On Jedi Recruitment by Director of Jedi Recruitment, Barbra Dillon

We really don’t need to explain the Jedi, do we? Every decent plan MUST include Jedi. According to Director Barbra Dillon, the Jedi Recruitment department at FBC has hit some hard times, specifically due to the poor economy. Apparently, this has led to an outbreak of Padawans turning to the dark side, and, ultimately, not becoming Fanboy Comics Jedi. Still, don’t worry! Director Barbra Dillon is bringing in counselors to help these troubled students.

-Annual Report On The Borg Defense Grid by Director of the Borg Defense Grid, Jason McIntyre

If there’s one thing mankind is absolutely sure of, it is that we will one day be attacked by the Borg from Star Trek: TNG. Absolutely positive. This brings us to Fanboy Comics’ response to this most definite threat: the Borg Defense Grid, which is overseen by Director Jason McIntyre. The Director provided the FBC staff with a detailed power point presentation, which we promptly slept through (making comics is hard!!!). Still, we can assure you that we are safe. We are safe, aren’t we, Jason? AREN”T WE, JASON?!?!?!?!?!?

 

 

 


 

This closes the official Fanboy Comics Special Matters Report for 2011. Now, get out there and read some comics. It’s time for us to get back to saving the universes. (Yes, that is plural.)

Sincerely,

Bryant Dillon
President, Co-Founder, & Director of Velociraptor Resources, Fanboy Comics

Bryant Dillon, Fanbase Press President

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Favorite Comic BookPreacher by Garth Ennis and Steve DillonFavorite TV ShowBuffy the Vampire Slayer Favorite BookThe Beach by Alex Garland

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