When Apollo leads a Cylon raiding party away from the fleet, he ends up out of fuel and on the western-themed planet, Equellis, where "ovine" ranchers are held in the grip of local land baron Lacerta and his mysterious enforcer Red Eye. When Apollo befriends a young boy named Puppis and his mother on the outskirts of town, he determines Red Eye is a Cylon, but refuses to use his colonial pistol until he knows whether or not Red Eye is alone. Will he ever take his gun to town and mete out justice? Will Puppis call after him as he leaves the planet? And will Boxey learn to smoke while in Starbuck's care?
Erik and Justin doubt Cylons like Tommy's burgers. They also lament the comic convention status of Herbert Jefferson Jr. Justin outlines the dangers of making sci-fi terms for common words like "minute" and "years." Uncle Booties makes his first appearance. Memories of Kickboxing Academy appear from the ether. Erik confuses how to say "Cassiopeia." The oddly foppish Lacerta becomes a favorite. Erik also outlines why Equellan males are less desirable and defines the meaning of "felgercarb."