When Fanboy Comics is not providing you with the latest in geek news and entertainment, the staff and I hope to offer our readers a myriad of opportunities to give back to the community.  We love reading comics, watching movies, and playing video games, but we are never happier than when we are able to help others in need.  With Geeks Care: How You Can Help, FBC will provide you a variety of causes that would greatly appreciate your time.

This week, veteran comic book colorist Moose Baumann (Transformers, The Flash: Rebirth, 52, Green Lantern) reached out to the comic book community in an attempt to raise money for his wife’s cancer treatment.  As is the case for many freelance artists within the comic book industry, publishers do not provide health care as would a normal employer.  In addition, acquiring health care when you have a pre-existing condition, like cancer, is more difficult, as providers are often unwilling to insure you.  With no health care coverage and mounting medical bills nearing $90,000, Baumann is selling high quality prints of his incredible work for only $20.00 each.

Inglourious Basterds Review

"Tragedy.  Milk.  Revenge.  Killin’ Nat-zis.  The Bear Jew.  Hitler.  Wrath.  Hugo Stiglitz.  Sacrifice.  Schnapps.  Movie Premieres.  Mexican Standoffs.  Love.  Hate.  Knives.  Torture.  Strudel.  Sabotage.  Giant Burning Faces.  Art.  Revenge.  Destruction.  Dynamite.  Scotch.  Baseball bats.  B.J. Novak.  Deceit.  Death.  Feet.  Lust.  Winston Churchill.  Glory.  Hate.  Spies.  Scalping.  Arson.  Kidnapping.  Colonel Hans Landa.  Honor.  Machine Guns.  Treason.  Fear.  Rebellion.  Pain.  Revenge.  Quentin Tarantino has done it again!"

Bryant, here! How’s it going in the geek-brotherhood?

 

Sorry that I’ve been so absent lately, guys! Between San Diego Comic-Con recovery and the pre-production and casting for Something Animal, free time is not a common thing for me recently. By the way, if you haven’t heard of Something Animal yet, check out the website HERE!!! Look for me to fill in some more details next week when I post my “Vamp-Wrap Up” blog and give you my thoughts about Tru Blood, Twilight, Buffy, and, of course, Something Animal.

 

Anyways, SDCC rocked, as usual. There were fewer cool blockbusters being pushed this year, so those sections felt a little hollow, but the FBC gang washed that bad taste out of our mouths by nabbing tickets to the first screening of Inglourious Basterds for an American audience!!! I nearly pissed myself when I found out that we were getting in! I did piss myself when the tickets turned out to be Inglourious Basterds dog tags! Holy Frak!!!

 

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies is a fun animated movie that will entertain children and adults alike.  In this film adaptation of the comic of the same name written by Jeph Loeb, we have an economic downturn, we have a modern, ever humble yet clever and quipping Superman, we have a huge meteor made of kryptonite speeding towards earth, and we have Lex Luthor being elected President of the United States.  This sets up a Watchmen-style world where superheroes are working for the American Government, “So they don’t work against me,” confides Luthor.  When Superman refuses to work for his long time enemy he and Batman, who shows up randomly, become wanted criminals. From this device we see all sorts of modern political commentary emerge on the nature of the power of authority, the use of manipulation and fear in the media, and the difference between what is “right” and what is the law, although, these issues are secondary to the action and plot, but what do you expect?

 

Before I get into the actual review, I want to make my position very clear: I LOVED the 1999 cult hit Boondock Saints.   I saw it on a recommendation and fell in love.  The action sequences were wildly fresh.  The story was engaging and original.  The acting was great, save a forgivable few mediocre performances.  The characters and dialogue were colorful, witty, and light.  The movie was so f---ing fun!

 

The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day is not fun. This movie is about the return of the McManus brothers (Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus) from a self-imposed exile in Ireland to once again roam the streets of Boston enforcing their own brand of justice.  The filmmakers tried to recreate the quick pace and slick style of Boondock the first but could manage only to get it up to the level of a shitty knockoff.  The action sequences are laughably repetitive and several are blatant rehashes of scenes from the first movie, with only minor differences. 

 

The script is ridden with transparent exposition, unreasonable plot advances, pointless callbacks to the first film, and masturbatory self-awareness gags as if to say, “We have legions of fans that care about a f---ing good story.”  This sequel is schizophrenic and celebratory, a stark contrast to the first film.

 

There was a time when the rumor of a Boondock Saints sequel was something that seemed both impossible and f---ing amazing. It was very similar to the feeling that the Star Wars prequels had before they came into existence. Geeks would spend hours imagining possible story lines and assuring each other how “bad-ass” these films would be. Much like Phantom Menace, The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day is heartbreaking in its failure.

 

Actually, Menace might be better. At least it gave us Darth Maul and that bad-ass lightsaber battle. Something, even if it was miniscule, improved in Menace, whereas BS II failed to improve on anything from the first film. Balls!

 

At this point, I’m going to let you know that MAJOR SPOILERS are contained below. In all honesty, I loved The Boondock Saints. I have a tradition of watching it every St. Patrick’s Day while pounding the black stuff, and it always amazes me how brilliant and artistic the film is in every single f---ing scene! The sequel has nearly none of this, and, therefore, I really don’t feel there is anything that I can ruin for you. You’ve been warned.

 

Dear Troy Duffy:

 

Congratulations to you on the epic failure that was The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

 

Despite your success in the making of the original Saints film, I must say that I am not, in the least, surprised by the horrible piece of s**t that was the sequel.  After viewing the eye-opening documentary Overnight which detailed your rise and dismal fall from the Hollywood spotlight, I was amazed that anyone would give you the time of day, let alone provide you with the capital and means to create a sequel.  Although I enjoyed the first Saints, even I was not looking forward to the second film. 

 

I think that the title of the sequel alone speaks volumes as to the quality of the film.  Much like Michael Bay with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, you must have felt that we required a colon-laden title with further explanation as to what we might expect in the film.  Well, sir, much like Michael Bay, you made it quite clear that by adding more money to the film, we could expect more s**t and less plot.  Thank you for clearing that up; I would have been quite confused if you had simply left the title as The Boondock Saints II.   

 

Dear Mr. Cameron:

 

Per your request, I viewed your latest film, Avatar.  While I was entertained visually by the film, at no time throughout the two-and-a-half hours did I sprout a tail or have the opportunity to ride a flying dragon.  Given our discussion of this film being a “breakthrough,” I am disappointed that my 3D glasses did not meld to my face, allowing me to participate and interact with the characters. 

 

I regret to inform you that I have denied your request to be deemed “The King of the World.”  For the time being, you will continue to be referred to as “Titanic-boy.”  If you wish to appeal this decision, please submit your request in writing no later than 30 days after the posting of this letter (along with an autograph from the guy from Grandma’s Boy). 

 

I really love Alien 3.

 

To many, it is bizarre that I would so cherish what is, in their minds, a cinematic disaster. Others can see enough of my point of view to admit there was, at the very least, potential for a great film. A select few understand exactly why I love this film and love it themselves.

 

Where others see bad acting, I see unique and interesting choices by the actors. Where others see a retread, I see a return to roots of the original film. Where others mourn the death of Ripley, not to mention Hicks and Newt, I see sobering, painful, and fitting endings to beloved characters. Maybe it’s a matter of opinion. Maybe it’s unresolved expectations on the fan base’s part. I’m not arrogant enough to state that I am unequivocally right, but, like most people, I do trust my instincts.

 

Now, there’s been a lot of negative buzz about The Wolfman out there for some time. Not unlike Alien 3, it has been plagued with bad luck, messy studio/director disagreements, and angry departures, not to mention the death rattle of any film: massive reshoots. Also, not unlike Alien 3, I have found myself very impressed with The Wolfman and on the opposite side of a slew of bad reviews.

 

Greetings, Fellow Geeks!!!

Here at Fanboy Comics we’re about more than just comic books, geek gossip, and making butt loads of cash. In an attempt to save the world from itself (and the inevitable self-aware cell phone revolt), each member of the FBC staff has taken on a special burden, an additional job title which is essential to our ongoing plan to save the comics, In-n-Out, and the planet. As President of the company, I demand from my staff an annual report of these “Special Matters.” Also, as a symbol of our integrity and transparency, we post said report for public view by our readers!

Below, you will find the official Fanboy Comics Special Matters Report for 2011.  This report was originally presented on February 9th, 2011.

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